A Caregiver's Question

"Wherefore art thou Romeo?" is Juliet's burning question to the Universe. She asks why Romeo, her beloved, is a Montague to her Capulet. Why must they be in a situation where they must hide their love from their respective feuding families? Why must her beloved Romeo be of the Montague house? Why is he, of all men, her beloved Romeo? Why could he not have come from a different family? Why Romeo at all?

Another Juliet (me, Juliet Archer) also asks a burning question of the Universe and has asked this question numerous times throughout the time she has known her (my) beloved Romeo. It is simply, "What?" and always comes after an instruction, an urging, an impulse from the Universe. It goes something like this:

The Universe (patiently but firmly): Click on this link (the one that I'm making pulsate, see it?) for this online dating service.

Juliet: What?

The Universe (patiently but firmly): Click on this link (the one that I'm making pulsate, see it?) for this online dating service.

Juliet: Okay.

This started the process that brought Romeo and I together. We met through this online dating service, even though I had no intention of using such a service. The Universe urged me to join.

Then, when Romeo and I decided to meet in person, here's what happened as I drove to the coffee shop where we arranged to join each other in a cup of tea:

The Universe (patiently but firmly): When you see him, you're going to kiss him.

Juliet: WHAT!!!????

The Universe (patiently but firmly): When you see him, you're going to kiss him.

Juliet: Okay.

This is completely out of my range of behavior with someone I've just met.

But I did...I gave him a little peck on the cheek. Maybe it awakened a pre-lifetime agreement in him, a sign or reminder that we were to be together. Maybe he was simply shocked (as I was) that I did such a thing. In any case, the rest, as they say, is history.

On the second day, Romeo asked me to marry him. Even though I thought, "What took you so long?" the Universe stepped in to ensure its desired outcome.

The Universe (patiently but firmly): Tell him, "Without a doubt in my mind."

Juliet: What?

The Universe (patiently but firmly): Tell him, "Without a doubt in my mind."

It was true, and I did. We were married less than four months later. We knew it was meant to be, and we each were happier than we'd ever been before.

Nine months later, Romeo was diagnosed with dementia, and I railed against the Universe.

Juliet to the Universe: What!!!???? Dementia!!!???? What!!!????

The Universe: (silence).

Juliet to the Universe: What? I can't hear you. What!!!????

The Universe: (silence).

It was gone. That guiding voice, the Universe, was gone.

Juliet to the Universe: You abandoned me. You don't say anything anymore. What's going on? What? What? What?

The Universe: (silence).

My "what" questions continue. What is this all about? What is the purpose of this? What were you thinking to put us together for this? What were we thinking to get together for this? What will happen to Romeo? What will happen to me? What in the world? What for? What happens next? What do we do with this? What reward do we get for doing this? What can we turn this into? What changes will we see in ourselves? What sort of silly reality is this?

Questions are plentiful. Answers are sparse. Yet, we plod along, Romeo and I. We continue each day. I remain open to hear answers, even though there have been only one or two. One day Romeo and I will know more. One day, my "what?" questions will cease. But until then, I know that the next time the Universe speaks to me, it may be my turn to remain silent.