An Event Remembered in Dementialand

I walked into Romeo's room in the nursing home around 8:45 a.m. He was due to be up and in a private office in the reception area to receive a special phone call from his brother in Thailand in about 15 minutes. The call was supposed to have taken place the previous day but didn't due to numerous flub-ups on the part of the nursing home staff.

Romeo immediately began to tell me about an incident that happened during the previous night. It was another big flub-up by the nursing home staff that I'd need to sort out.

"Romeo, I'm sorry to interrupt you. I know what you're telling me is very important, but right now we need to get you up and into that private office for that phone call with Colin. After the call we'll talk about this and figure out what to do."

He nodded his understanding.

"Besides," I said, "something else is wrong and I haven't had time to scream and cry about it yet."

"What is it?"

"Jason got bit by a rattlesnake. He's in the ICU at Children's Hospital." I could hardly speak the words from choking back the emotion. Jason is my six year-old grandson.

"What! Is he okay?"

"He's stabilized right now. They're giving him antivenin, and he's on morphine for the pain." More choking back.

We had pressed Romeo's call button, but I had no faith that anyone would come quickly to get him out of bed and into his wheelchair. They were supposed to have gotten him up before I arrived. I went to the front desk and told the receptionist the situation, requested someone unlock the private office we were to use, and put a fire under the nursing staff to get someone into Romeo's room NOW to get him up.

The logistics for the call went smoothly after I lit a fire under everyone. Afterward, Romeo and I discussed the problem he experienced the previous night, then discussed it with a nursing supervisor who could actually do something about it (more about this in another post). Then, I told Romeo that I would have to leave to go be with Jason and the rest of the family at the hospital. I thought I would have to explain Jason's situation once again to Romeo and justify my leaving and never quite getting through to him (which is usually the case because of Romeo's dementia).

When Romeo remembers things, especially something as major as Jason being bit by a rattlesnake, I feel a beautiful flowering of my heart, and the love I feel is nearly overwhelming. Romeo's remembering such things is a sign to me that despite his dementia, he is still present for us, he is still with us for the important things in life. He remembers.