The Caregiver and the Oracle

Going to the fortune teller's was just as good as going to the opera, and the cost scarcely a trifle more - ergo, I will disguise myself and go again, one of these days, when other amusements fail.

-- Mark Twain in a letter to Orion Clemens, February 6, 1861

I pick up the Magic 8-Ball and turn it, rolling it between my hands, barely noticing it, thinking.

Me: Would it have been better for us if Romeo had never developed dementia?

M8B: Reply hazy, try again.

Me: Okay. Would it have been better for us if Romeo had never developed dementia?

M8B: My reply is no.

Me: Oh, really? Let me try again. Would it have been better for us if Romeo had never developed dementia?

M8B: Concentrate and ask again.

Me: Shoot. Would it have been better for us if Romeo had never developed dementia?

M8B: My sources say no.

Me: Are you sure?

M8B: Yes.

Me: Well, what does a silly toy know anyway?

M8B: Without a doubt.