Dumped in Dementiaville

The three women who shared a dining room table with Romeo have dumped him.

Yep, they don't want him to sit at their table any more. These women who giggled at his every word, flirting like schoolgirls, don't want him at their table. These women who fussed over him, making sure he has everything he needs, want him to move. These women who wiped up his spills and messes, who waited on him, who hovered around him, asked that he be moved to another table. These women are done with him.

I conducted an investigation to find out why this happened, how this happened, why Romeo's former dining partners want him gone. It shocked me, and it hurt me. (See previous post about Romeo's dining room partners at Dining Room Harem in Dementiaville.)

Romeo believes that the reason he isn't sitting with his harem any longer is because "the powers that be," as he refers to the nursing staff, want it that way. The real story, which I will not tell him, is that the women don't like:

• what he eats (he's vegetarian -- what's offensive about that?!).

• that when he eats, he makes a mess on the floor, himself, the table (so?...they don't have to clean it up).

• that he asks them the same questions over and over again about his food (well, yes, it's part of his dementia).

That's it. Those are the reasons why they want him moved. I did not, will not tell him this. It would probably break his heart. And for me? It set off a long afternoon of crying. How could they not want him around for those silly reasons? How could anyone not want to be in the company of my Romeo? How could they have been so devoted to him and then suddenly change? Whatever would I tell Romeo? Would I ever stop crying about this? And why does it hurt so much?

The nursing staff plans to keep moving him from table to table until they find a good fit for him, find people that he's compatible with. Ah, the thought comes to me that I can tell him that they're moving him around because a lot of people want him to sit at their tables and the best way to make them all happy is to move him periodically to the different tables.

Romeo is satisfied with this answer. Phew! Another disaster averted in Dementiaville.

Dining Room Harem in Dementiaville

Romeo requested to be moved from the table where most of the male residents on his floor eat their meals. He said that they don't talk, they're grumpy, and they grunt like barnyard animals when they eat.

He found happiness at a nearby table with three women. He loves to sit with them, he says, because he likes to chat, and everyone at this table talks to each other and to him.

He jokingly refers to them as his "harem." They giggle at his every word, flirting like schoolgirls. They fuss over him, making sure he has everything he needs. They wipe up his spills and messes. I have seen one of the women propel herself in her wheelchair to a different part of the room to get Romeo what he wants. I have seen another of the women wheel her chair behind Romeo to fasten his "clothes protector" behind his neck. They will also hover in their wheelchairs outside the door of the dining room, waiting for him before they go in. He laps it up, of course, every bit of it. Who wouldn't?

It's no wonder he likes to sit at this table. Their attentions to him warm my heart. If I can't be with him every moment to take care of him (and I can't), it soothes me to know that he is attended to by these gentle women. Romeo has little happiness these days in his life with dementia. Wherever he finds love is more than okay with me.