The Tower and the Caregiver

We turn to God for help
when our foundations are shaking,
only to learn it is God
who is shaking them.
-- Charles C. West

Last night I had an "aha" moment, a lightning flash of revelation, if you will, where I realized, where I really KNEW that I had just experienced a shift in consciousness. I am done, finished, living my life as I have been.

And today I randomly pulled this tarot card -- The Tower -- and oh dear. Yep, it's true. There's that lightning flash, there's the fire destroying everything I have built to this point. If catharsis is not yet complete, it's close.

This is a true upheaval, a crisis of the soul. Yet, since this shift in consciousness last night, I am calm in the face of the chaos. I move forward, intensely rededicated and refocused to certain aspects of my life, while leaving room for other possibilities to surface.

The rebuilding has begun even before the tower has been completely toppled. I expect that these foundations which I cherished will also liberate me as they crumble. I expect the rude awakenings that have come my way, one after another, after another, after another, have accelerated my growth. Seldom do I experience many of life's upheavals. Instead, I either stand by, an unconnected third party unable to tear my eyes from the morbid scene, and simply watch the unfolding, or participate only as an actor on the stage of my life.

Yes, I am going through major changes now that Romeo lives in a nursing home. Things will never be the same again. Yet, I now have the chance to rethink, reevaluate, and rebuild my life to what I want it to be. I now have the chance to realign with my true self. And while this is a tumultuous process, there is a new sort of freedom and spiritual growth sprouting from the base of that tower.